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irenefaye
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irenefaye


Posts : 21
Join date : 2014-10-07
Age : 31

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PostSubject: The Last Maxwell -a little story-   The Last Maxwell -a little story- EmptyMon Nov 10, 2014 4:56 pm

This is a story I create when my writings group decide that they want to make a collaboration work (kinda similar to an RP but more complex).
As always I create a new character for that collaboration, and as the times goes by, I'm getting attached to the character, that his past story looks like something you could root for, so without further ado ... this is the first part of the story:
____

Edgar hates funerals. Well, to be precise he hates to be out of the house and left his precious books just to attend a funeral of someone he barely even know. Slowly he glanced in the ranks of tombstones that seems to be sturdily embedded to the ground, extended as far as his eyes can see all around him. One word engraved on each of every tombstones there bother him though. Maxwell. Yup, his is his family burial grounds, which means, another person who bear the same surname as him will be buried today.

"Can you explain it again to me mother, whose funeral are we attending today?" Edgar asked to the woman who stand behind him. The woman just exhaled a very long sigh before finally opening her mouth again.

"He is the son of the nephew of your grandfather's step sibling. He's the decendant of your great grandfather from his first wife ..."

"Wich makes him my nobody ..." Edgar cuts coldly. His mother makes their family's servant drag him from his library, dressed him up, and threw him to the coach this morning, and all of that just to making sure that he'll attend the funeral of a person he doesnt even know. That woman deserve his cold remarks.

"He's a Maxwell, Edgar. His great grandmother is the first wife of your great grandfather. The rightful spouse of your great grandfather ..."

"Well, sucks for father, for her grandmother turned out to be just a concubine of my great grandfather ..." Again Edgar cut his mother's words coldly. That woman had never been in the house on a daily basis, and when she appeared, she always dragged Edgar to annoying ceremonies such as the one he's attending right now.

"Your great grandmother was a rightful wife! She came from a respected family, with a pure noble blood that turned us into a Maxwell decendant now!"

"That makes you married father, and turned us into the only Maxwell left now ..." cut the black haired boy again while staring at the whole sets of tombstone engraved with his surname in that burrial ground. "Where is father anyway? Wasn't this, if I'm not mistaken, his nephew's funeral. Wasnt he suposed to be here too, considering he is the head of our family ..."

"Your father is currently talking with Khion's, your cousin, lawyer ..."

"Relative ..." corrected Edgar. He knew where this topic is going and ended and he doesn't like it when his mother tangled him in this kind of mess.

"He is a Maxwell, so he is your cousin Edgar!"

Edgar just stared emptily toward the cofin that holds his relative's corps, he's already quite fed up with his mother right now.

It seems, from his observation, the servants of his late relatives is quite grieved by the fact that their master is no more with them, some of them even sobs and whail when the cofin is lowered to the ground.

"Whatever it is, Edgar, your father is currently talking with your cousin's lawyer concerning the inheritance he left for you ..." said his mother with a satisfied tone. Edgar just rolled his eyes. It is just as he expected. Inheritance. All this were just for wealth.

"This is the first time I met him--correction, this is the first time I met him, and he already been locked in his cofin and burried, and you said that the guy left an inheritance for a nine years old who doesnt even knew he existed?" Edgar said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. He suddenly have an urge to threw a cold grin towards the cofin that had started to be completly covered by the ground.

"Well, you can't deny the fact that you're the only Maxwell that is younger than him, right? This is enough reason for him to left all of his wealth to you after his death," explaine his mother. Edgar can feel her cold hand tried to hold his, but the boy quickly pulls away his hand.

"I don't know about that stuff, but I don't like the fact that he also got his wealth from 
another death Maxwell before him, and also the fact that he got that inheritance three months before his own death ..." mumbled the boy as he stared coldly to the tombstone near his relative's new tombstone. His mother follows where his eyes are going and clear her throath a bit. 

"Khion died because he's struck by lightning, not because of the attack fromm the Set Kingdom ..." her mother said.

"That's right, but fifteen other Maxwell before him died because of the attack and you can't deny it mom that this is the sixteenth funeral we attend in the last six months ..." Edgar ends his words as main ceremony over. His mother chose to ignore his cold remark and walks away from that place, followed by Khion's group of servants. Only Edgar left standing in front of the new burrial cite that had just been filled. Afterall, he's pretty sure that it'll not takes long for him to follow the footsteps of his relative. Maybe. Just maybe.


To be continued


Last edited by irenefaye on Wed Nov 12, 2014 4:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Miss Nile
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Miss Nile


Posts : 76
Join date : 2014-09-03
Age : 27
Location : Egypt

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PostSubject: Re: The Last Maxwell -a little story-   The Last Maxwell -a little story- EmptyTue Nov 11, 2014 3:02 pm

Oooh this is an interesting start, Yuu. Very Happy It sounds like the Maxwells have an interesting background and I'm quite curious for some more. Razz

Ahh Edgar sounds older than his age though. I was expecting a teenager at least or a young man but I was shocked to find out that he was a nine year old. I wonder why's that. XD
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irenefaye
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irenefaye


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Join date : 2014-10-07
Age : 31

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PostSubject: Re: The Last Maxwell -a little story-   The Last Maxwell -a little story- EmptyTue Nov 11, 2014 4:35 pm

Miss Nile wrote:
Oooh this is an interesting start, Yuu. Very Happy It sounds like the Maxwells have an interesting background and I'm quite curious for some more. Razz

Ahh Edgar sounds older than his age though. I was expecting a teenager at least or a young man but I was shocked to find out that he was a nine year old. I wonder why's that. XD
Thanks for reading!
Well, good question
Well, it's just this story is actually a prequel of a project called Quete Pour Le Chateu de Phantasm (Short for QPLCDP), which is a series of collaboration works written by more than 25 writers.
Doing this kind of project is a lot like RP-ing but instead of posting one paragraph, or a bit more, we have to at least each writes 500 words and have full controlled of the OCs from other character (actually there're only 5 main characters but well the other writers keeps making a new one so it's like there're some random character keeps popping around in one episode).
Edgar was created when I enter my entry on this project, which is the 2nd episodes and he capture a lot of attention that kinda overshadowing the real main character. But since the project got stalled with a lot of problem, we have to let go of it--sadly no, I will not post QPLCDP in this forum, coz first it's mean I have to translate all of it (and there're like more than 20s episodes there), and I don't have the right to post it coz it's not just my works. But I do have rights over Edgar, and so I'm going to use my rights to post it here.
Edgar is very young because he is portrayed as a genius young guy in QPLCDP, and when I created him I don't really think too much about his background story--I do have a basic idea of what his background gonna be, but I just didn't put a lot of thought about it. But then when the project went quite out of control I just have this urge to writes him his background story and that's where the Last Maxwell came in. So I have to enforced my limit on age for him. To tell the truth though 9 years old genius does exist, and some of them did think like what Edgar did in this story (actually history did notes that an 8 year old kid hack into NASA once--Walter O'brien). Well so lets just called it my excuse then lol

anyway ... we did have a sketch of lil Edgar here ... (his olderself will be in spoiler section hehe):
The Last Maxwell -a little story- 76410_10200107760236332_1174622227_n
Adult verion:

I'll post the continuation as soon as I finished translating it
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PonderingOver
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PonderingOver


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PostSubject: Re: The Last Maxwell -a little story-   The Last Maxwell -a little story- EmptyWed Nov 12, 2014 3:15 pm

Oooooh you posted a story after all! Very Happy

I liked it! It looks to have a very interesting concept although I was surprised too to hear the age of the boy Razz But I can understand your excuse so it's fine!

And he looks very cool both as adult and young boy Very Happy The adult is really nice though!

Are you going to post more soon?
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TheMilkyWay
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TheMilkyWay


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PostSubject: Re: The Last Maxwell -a little story-   The Last Maxwell -a little story- EmptyThu Nov 13, 2014 2:13 pm

Hmm I really like young Edgar. The expression over his face really matches his dialogue in the story.

I like the idea so far, and I do hope you'll post more of it. My only nitpick would be the lack of paragraphs, and the frequent mistakes in grammar and spelling but they can be overlooked for the quality of the story itself.

I am quite curious as to who seems to be finishing the Maxwells, why and how easy it seemed for the others now to say farewell to their family members as they perished month after the other, leaving their inheritance behind to the younger. Could their inheritance have something to do with why the attacks go on?

I hope you can post again soon. It's an interesting story indeed.
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irenefaye
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irenefaye


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PostSubject: Re: The Last Maxwell -a little story-   The Last Maxwell -a little story- EmptyMon Nov 17, 2014 4:25 pm

TheMilkyWay wrote:
Hmm I really like young Edgar. The expression over his face really matches his dialogue in the story.

I like the idea so far, and I do hope you'll post more of it. My only nitpick would be the lack of paragraphs, and the frequent mistakes in grammar and spelling but they can be overlooked for the quality of the story itself.

I am quite curious as to who seems to be finishing the Maxwells, why and how easy it seemed for the others now to say farewell to their family members as they perished month after the other, leaving their inheritance behind to the younger. Could their inheritance have something to do with why the attacks go on?

I hope you can post again soon. It's an interesting story indeed.
I should apologize about the translation, I too think that there're a lot of grammar and spelling mistake in it, but well that's as far as I can go with english--it is afterall originally written in Indonesian.

Anyway here's the next part ...

-----

Edgar have to admit that Khion, his late relative, must have some taste. His house, or should it be called castle, was placed on the outskirt of the town. The building were old, but it's still firm and strong. A little forest grew behind it and a vast green well manage yard extended on it's front. Just by glancing at it, every person could guess that a very rich nobleman must have lived in that mansion.

The inner sanctum of the place was even more interesting. Giant Chandeliars hanged from the ceiling all along the corridor. Large tamestries and beautiful painting covered the walls with views of ancient warfare, twelve men and women having a feast, and a little fairy sitting among the foliage and flowers that almsot hid her, there are also a whimsical yet elegant castle frozen on one of the tapestries there. All of it are both elegant and stunning.

Edgar stared on the tapestry that shows him the images that provoke his considerable attention. Pictures of three women with the same face, standing back to back. Two who were standing behind the woman facing forward were holding a torch and a snake, while the one facing him was holding a set of keys. Two black dogs accompanied the three woman, staring at him coldly as if they're going to swallow him.

"Hecate, the goddess of crossroad and magic. Some stories said that she'll show herself when the newmoon night brought darkness to the land. Tonight is a new mooon, maybe she'll come after you, Ed!"

Edgar turned his head toward the girl in a maid's clothe who's been standing behind him for who knows how long. The girl was a few years older than him, mischievous smile painted on her face, with her brown hair were tied into a messy bun, but Edgar's opinion were never changed every time he sees her. A girl who is both friendly and intelligent.

"Most servant won't disturbed their master when they're enjoying something, Micah ... you should already knows that!" Edgar said coldly. The girl who's now standing next to him laughed and start messing his hair.

"Awww ... Edgar, didn't you act too cold toward your mother now? Is this how you treat a person who raised you?" cried the girl as she pinched both of the boy's pale cheek.

"You are not my mother!" grumbled the boy as he snap away her hand from his face. The girl laugh again before pulling out a comb from her pocket and start repairing Edgar's messed hairdo.

"But I did raised you" she said grinning and put the comb back inside her pocket. "Now, this looks much better!" she chimes proudly as she looks at Edgar's new hairdo.

"My mother's servants were the one who turned my hair into something weird like that. They should have known that you're the only person who is allowed to touch my hair, and you're the only person who's solely person of my wellbeing ..." grumbled the boy again. Micah just threw a very meaniful smile towards him.

Edgar stared at the girl for a few momment when he finally realised something on the girl's expression, and the cold expression he keeps suddenly melted, changed into an entusiastic cheerful face of a common nine years old.

"You found something!" beamed the boy spiritfully. Micah didn't answer it. The girl keeps smiling, but now she walks down the corridor while throwing a little glance toward the boy. Without much ado, the boy ran after the girl.

Micah brought Edgar through the corridor full of paintings before suddenly stoping in front of a double door that's looks really old but obviously sturdy. Slowly the girl pushed the door open and threw her eyes at the boy's reaction. A sudden twinkle fills the boy's eyes when he look into the room beyond the open door.

"LIBRARY!" cheered the boy. With a haste the boy steps his feet inside the room that's filled with hundreds, or even thousands  books that's extended from corner to corner in front of him. His hands hastily felt the covers of every books that caught his eyes and checked every titles and authors of the books. In a mere minutes, the boy had now threw his body to the nearest sofa with more than ten books stacked on the table in front of him. Micah can't hold her laugher looking on the boy that's been on her care for as long as she can remember.

"You're a true genius, you know that, Micah? This library might not be as big as my library at home, but the books here, are definetly never been read by me! How could you found this place?" Asked Edgar curiously as he took away his eyes from the book for a while.

"Well, I heard that your relative was an adventurer who likes to collects rare books and paiting. So when your father invites me to this place, the first thing I look for was this room. Because however it is, I know that you'll be borred and pissed to be forced to attend the ceremony" explained the girl with a mischieve smile that always looks smart on Edgar's eyes. Without thinking more further, the pretty boy jumped out his sofa and threw his hands around Micah's hip.

"You are definetly the best!" cheered the boy. Micah laughed again.

"Let me show you one more thing that'll definetly brighten your day!" said the girl as she pulled off from Edgar's hug. The boy stared at her confusedly, but still he let Micah pulls him toward one corner of the room.

An altar made of silver stood out in a room full of books and wooden shelves. On it, a giant leather-bound book, looked closed with two bowls of raisins located on both sides. Edgar immediately threw a puzzled look towards Micah.

"Snacks for reading?" Asked Edgar curiously. Micah just shrugged.

"Those bowls were already there when I fnd it. I do not know why, but according to the servants of this place, no one were allowed to eat from the bowl. Their own masters, Khion, was the one who filled an put both of the bowls there some times before his death" explained Micah shortly. Edgar immediately looked at the bowls with disgust.

"Doesnt that mean that those raisins are already moldy? You can't eat them anymore right?" He said as he rub the surface of the book lies between the two bowls. Micah just laugh. 

"I dont know, but I think it's best to not touching the raisins and just focus on the book. I haven't opened it, and there're no title on it's cover, so I don't know whats in it. I keep it so that you could be the first one who'll read it!" said Micah spiritfully as she moved the book towards Edgar. The boy lift the book excitedly and directly inspect all inch of it's cover.

A snake with it's tail gracefully circling a torch with a series of key hanging by the tip of it's tail. That beautiful image was engraved on the cover of the book. There's no title, and no other writing. Only three things on it. Torch, snake, and keys. Edgar looks at the picture over and over again, he seem to know the meaning of the picture, but he's still not sure. Slowly but surely he tried to open the book.

"EDGAR!!!" the blaring voice of his mother's shireking shout snapped him up. Quickly the boy wrapped the book in his hand and ran toward the voice that's continuously calling his name. As panick as her master, Micah quickly follows behind him.

"Where had you been?! Come quickly! Khion's lawyer's had been waiting forever for you. You must sign some of the agreement letters that'll make you the truly heir of Khion!" scold his mother furiouly. The woman throw a dangerous looks toward Micah before finally dragged his son away to the second floor. For a while Micah just stands there, before thinking of how scar her mistress is when she's furious.

(To Be Continued)

Next part will be the last part of this story so I hope you'll be patiently waiting for the translation
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TheMilkyWay
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TheMilkyWay


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PostSubject: Re: The Last Maxwell -a little story-   The Last Maxwell -a little story- EmptyMon Nov 24, 2014 12:04 am

Interesting chapter. While this may not show much of the previously asked questions about the chapter just before it, it definitely shows something new and interesting, which is Edgar's relationship with Micah. It seems as though he appreciates her more than his own mother because as she mentioned, she's the one who raised him. I am guessing she must be his own maid or caretaker?

I am also guessing that his mother must be the kind of a woman who's too busy for her own children that she lets the servants take care of her only (?) son.

Looking forward to next and last part for sure.
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